UCC Committee Meeting Minutes 2014-03-07 Episode XLVIII - "Just One More Minute" The situation is dire. The forces of General Apathy have taken their toll on the noble heroes of the 39th UCC Committee. The first to fall was Johnathon "Spam filter" Van Buren, the fabled UCC messenger tragically shot down by his very own spells of protection. Next came Erin "Cake hater" Steike, whose bitter betrayal will never be forgiven. Mitch "Still a Fresher" Pomery was placed under an enchanted sleep by his evil fairy god mother, whilst Kier "Vanishing" Campbell lived up to his name and has presumably hidden in cowardice from the committee's foes. Mark "Wait I thought the AGM was next week" (it was) Anderson has disappeared into the matrix. We are very disappointed. The wearied survivors of the assault gather for the last time in that legendary bastian of dust and ancient electron moving machines, the University Computer Club Clubroom (UCCC). They are: Samuel Shenton, the young but aged President, (other) Sam Moore, the Grand Vizier, Andrew Gozzard the minister for Mongooses, and I guess Mitch Pomery, the man of action items, if he wakes up in time. The call to arms has managed to bring several heroic onlookers to witness the committee's plight. Those that answer are known as: Ryan Hantale, Emily Carvalho, and Jacob Collins. The others are are not here to join the battle against General Apathy and instead prefer to fight their own battles against the time worn and slightly sticky computers of the UCC. Since they ascended the steps of power into the lofty heights of Cameron Hall almost one year ago, the 39th UCC Committee has had many triumphs, and also many failures, against the insidious forces of General Apathy. At times, Apathy had been aided by his most malignant allies, General Ignorance and General Shouting, and the struggle was terrible to behold. Perhaps the greatest achievemant of the 39th UCC Committee was befriending that noble ally, Drama the Llama, who has truly saved them from many dramatic and dangerous situations. Sadly, Drama's repayment for this loyal service was Mark "Ruins Everything" Anderson poking a hole in her back. The tired llama looks like she has had the stuffing knocked out of her. Perhaps the greatest failure of the 39th UCC Committee was a consistent inability to get dates and numbers right. This has happened at least 32.5 times. However, there will be plenty of time to reflect on these successes and failures at the Annual AGM on the 11th of March, one year to the day (plus or minus one) since this chapter of the UCC minutes began. Who will carry on the fight? For the 40th year since the dawn of the computer age promises to bring new and more horrific foes than any of the UCC Committee or their fabled ancestors have faced before. Will there actually be an anniversary dinner? Will the file server case ever arrive? Will MemberDB ever progress beyond the default django site? These thoughts weight heavily in the minds of our heroes, or at least, those that aren't off buying cake, or flirting with the forces of General Apathy. And so, as the binary audio clock strikes nine chilling notes, it is with a heavy heart, and also a heavy hand, and many typing mistakes, and wanton cruelty to the common comma, that Sam Moore takes up his keyboard to chronicle these, the last minutes of the 39th UCC Committee. And so, as he looks up and realises that there still isn't quorum, Sam Moore decides to eat some cake instead. And so, as the minutes fly past and there still isn't quorum, Sam Moore realises he isn't as good at this as the fabled Conrad Pogson, that legendary Secretary who knew more adjectives than "legendary" and "fabled", but forges ahead nevertheless, because he's never going to get another chance. And so, at ten minutes past the hour (of nine), as "We Built This City" trumpets loudly from the shining horns of Robotnik, the meeting does not begin because there is still not quorum. It seems the forces of Apathy will triumph this day! However! At thirteen minutes past the hour, word comes in from the Internode Relay Chat relay that Mitch Pomery has arisen from his slumber and will soon be here. Alas! At seventeen minutes past the hour, it seems Mitch Pomery has forgotten to come to the meeting and is trying to reconfigure the Internode Relay Chat relay instead. And so, at nineteen minutes past the hour, the tardy Mitch Pomery passes the threshold of the clubroom. However, Samuel "Oh wait we needed quorum" Shenton realises that Keeper of the Treasure Mark Anderson is still not here, and for some inexplicable reason decides to wait, even though we do actually now have quorum. "It will give me a chance to finish the door policy" he says, when it becomes apparent that Mark Anderson is fifteen minutes away. However, General Distraction is afoot, and it seems unlikely that the policy will be completed this day. At twenty nine minutes past the hour, we all give up and start the meeting. Sam Moore realises that people actually have things to say which he has no hope in hell of keeping up with, and reverts to "dumb and boring" minute mode. Committee Present: [SAS] [SZM] [BG3] [GOZ] Late: [NEO] Terrible People Who Hate Cake: [XON] [VAN] Others Present: [VOX] [HTL] [YVG] President's Report ------------------ - Last Committee Meeting - Thanks - Smooth ride, except when it wasn't - Has been working on the door policy which may or may not pass soon - O'Day membership grants should have been done, we should get money - USB's have arrived, in the machine room - Thanks Boost Promotional Products - What will we do with them? - The website is broken, where is the sponsor's logo - [BG3] fixed it, it is not broken - [SAS] will send an email to them before he is unable to do so (is he going to die?) Vice-President's Report ----------------------- - Accounts will be locked before the AGM - Organised event which I will not attend - Hacking night tonight at 5:00pm - [BG3] is "running" it, he says [BOB] can do the pizza - Discussion of something or other - Hang on, this is my report - Fileserver parts should have been shipped Treasurer's Report ------------------ - Not here, forgot - Envelopes have been bought for the New Dispense System (TM) - We already had over 9000 - [BG3] He is a horrible person who doesn't like cake - [SAS] At least he was awake - Note: If [NEO] was actually here that might be a burn Retroactive report (after he arrives): - [SAS] need to pay the phone bill - Everyday Transaction: $2043.13 - Cash Reserve: $1806.58 - Mastercard: $375 - [SAS] need to move term deposit interest and clear the Mastercard account Secretary's Report ------------------ - I don't like cake - Is a horrible person who doesn't like cake Fresher Rep's Report -------------------- - Vanished - Is a horrible person who doesn't like cake Machine Technical Reports ------------------------- Servers - Murasoi overheated during Fresher Welcome several times - This was "fixed" by increasing the thermal cutoff temperature for Murasoi - Pizza was a success - [GOZ] tells people to look at Evil's Temperature Graphs to see what happened - Evil is now on top of Motsugo - Dagon got rackmounted a while ago (forgot to minute?) Network - Murasoi went down Desktops - Murasoi went down - Clownfish now has Debian Wheezy, it is GNOME3 - Someone who cares to put MATE on it New equipment - USBs Drinks and Snacks ----------------- - [SZM] can never be thanked enough for doing that Snack Run - [SAS] It keeps us nutritionally imbalanced - [BG3], [BOB] and [SZM] did coke run - [SAS] Next committee's problem now! - Says the guy that wants to be an OCM... - Crazy suggestions from [GOZ] - [VOX] asks question I can't hear External Affairs ------------------- Mail - We got USBs - Phone bill - [NEO] needs to pay - [NEO] needs to transfer money into Cash Reserve Guild/SOC - Treasurer Training is on the 12th of March - The new Treasurer WILL attend this training - Don't vote for anyone who can't Other Entities - Master Plan Project Design Group (TM) email was sent out - Went to clubs@, so no one has read it - Cameron Hall Forum is Facebooking around - Meeting is Friday next week at 1pm Action Items ---------------------- - [NEO] to do his job before the AGM - NOT DONE - [SZM] it will never be done - [SAS] we should live in hope - Argument about which AGM is meant - IT'S THE ONE ON TUESDAY - [BG3] to do lots of shit (webcams, door sensors, buying random shit, to email door policy) - [BG3] delegates webcams to someone that isn't him (good luck) - Something about Windows - [GOZ] ordered the webcams that we don't want, but doesn't want to return them - [GOZ] to return shitty webcams - Door sensors - will be done at the end of March, will start tonight, $1500 a door (!?!?) - Unigames and UniSFA can pay for their doors - Everyone to bring cake - Done by [SZM], [SAS] - Not done by [BG3] because he was asleep General Business ---------------- [SAS] : Masterplan Project Design Group (TM) (C) (R) - Seriously, we should take this seriously - As according to the email no one read, the Masterplan Project Design Group (TM) is a group of people looking at the first floor - They are looking for club representatives - [GOZ] volunteers - ANYWAY, there is a CH rep and a bunch of other reps by "type of club". We are "Arts and Culture" according to our Diary Entry. - Because people didn't want us to be "Social" and that was the only other thing that made sense. - [SAS] will probably run for CH representative due to long standing involvement [NEO] arrives at 09:50 - His car crashed last week because he forgot that thing that stops it from moving when you park it - Oh no! - [SAS] wants an endorsement for CH representative - [SZM] moves that the 39th UCC Committee endorse [SAS] as the Masterplan Project Design Group (TM) Cameron Hall Representative - No one hears him - [SAS] explains what the committee does; it is a design committee not a clubroom allocation thing - [SZM] repeats motion, [GOZ] seconds - motion passes, 3 for, 1 abstain [SAS] : Purge of Door and Coke - Will happen at AGM; remove anyone that isn't committee or wheel - Suggest the new committee consider immediate applications - [SZM] doesn't think this is a good idea, don't want to swamp a new committee with lots of indignant door applications - People want to do it at the AGM instead - It needs to be done at a committee meeting (?). We need 4 days notice. - [SAS] Announce a committee meeting immediately after the AGM - Discussion of whether or not we really have the right to do this - Whatever, they can just leave if they don't like it - Applications for door and coke are now open, and will be considered at the first meeting of the next committee - No need to thank us guys (statistically, the majority of you probably aren't here) [SAS] : Door and Coke Policy - It's basically what we have already in one document - [GOZ] will read it - There is still Door and Coke as seperate groups Discussion of something or other. [SAS] : Implement new Dispense System - Would [NEO] like to do it today? Yes. - Email will be sent [BG3] : 9am is a ridiculously early time - Its never too early for committee meetings There is cake. We ran make to bake the cake. This is not a [SAS] : Should we merge LOLDOG and LOLCAT or not? It doesn't matter. - Next committee can do it [SAS] : Is having a party at 1pm on Monday because he will be 18 - Hooray! - TO THE LISTS - There will be cake [BG3] : Good luck to the next committee? - [SAS] No, screw that Final Meeting Closed at 10:07 And so, as the melodious and very fitting tones of "Frak" play through the shining horns of Robotnik, the 39th UCC Committee reflects on a term filled with stuff that happened. The general membership plays on in ignorance of what has just happened, of the deep significance of this moment, of the - Ok I keep getting pushed around by people walking past my chair, so screw this. Minutes uploaded by [SZM] at 10:35 on 2014-03-07 Edited 2014-03-12 (formatting only) by [SZM] At this point, Major Retcon, (accompanied by his loyal friend Corporal Punishment), appears, and informs Sam Moore that the formatting of the minutes may look good in a terminal, but it breaks everything else.